The Problem With Wanting It All

Ok now no one likes a negatron. I like to think I’m an optimist prime :). The thing is, even badass Mumpreneurs have the occasional shitty day and today was a shitty explosion from the bowels of hell

Now I usually find that my shitty days are just that. A day. Brought on by pressure with no outlet to let it go.

I blame the homework.
Not the homework that took all weekend but the further 3 sheets I found in her bag when putting the completed homework away. This was the bad day catalyst. This was the water on the bad day gremlin.

This morning was a nursery morning. I had to get the entire house up 90 minutes earlier to get her there. Esmé is a doddle. Niamh on the other hand….
“Niamh…..”
“Uh”
“Niamh!”
“UHHHH”
I give up and dress her in bed.
“Neil…”
“…….”
“Neil!”
“Huuuuuuu”
“Neeee-yuuuuulllll!!!!”
“ALRIGHT!!!!!”
Times this by 5 before getting signs of life. You start your day off yelling, where can it go from there?
Come half 8 Niamh and I are walking to school in gale force winds with a hollow box castle. Yep.
I get to work and sit down with a coffee and cancel an 11am appointment to focus on the task in hand.
We launched our new business on Sunday and needed to make some urgent tweaks and get out some promos.

Time flies on these mornings that the baby is in nursery. I’ve no sooner had a coffee and it’s 10am. Half over and my to do list is barely glanced at.
It took one thing….photoshop not allowing me to move some text and I lost it. The little cheeky bastard cursor wouldn’t comply at all. I threw down my pencil, slammed my hands on the desk and I did something terrible.

I cried.

Now during a talk we attended at the Mumpreneur awards last year, Dell’s head of IT warned to never employ friends and to never bring your home life into work.
Here I was, sat with Kelly, our friend Jenna and my Mum (all of whom work at Lavish….in your face successful rich Dell lady!) blubbing like a baby.
Ten seconds later I stopped, wiped my nose on my cardigan and carried on feeling much better albeit a little silly.

I think that’s just what we mums do. We take on so much. Work, children, after school activities, HOMEWORK (*Spit*) and pressure can just build and build until we do a big emotional dump and use the toilet roll of friendship to wipe our mental bottoms clean.

Now I’m self medicating with a cheeky prosecco, feeling that love for my kids that mums only ever feel when their kids are in bed and I know that tomorrow will be a better day.

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