17 Apr Two Boils on the Same Arse
It’s so easy to grow apart when you’re married.
There’s the pre-wedding excitement and build up. The euphoria of the day. The heartfelt promises as you look into each other’s eyes.
The drunken romp to consummate that is never quite how it is in the films.
Then comes life.
The kids become your focus. Almost your sole focus. They are the one subject guaranteed to get you talking.
Before you know it days can go by with little more that a handful of conversations between you besides a “bye” and “night night”.
This had happened to us.
The last few months have been so stressful that we had become ships in the night just circling these choppy waters, neither noticing the other’s SOS flair.
I think I just assumed that marriage kind of looks after itself. That so long as you are both there in the moment that it counts. I was wrong.
I’ve put so much into being a mum that I’ve forgotten how to be a wife. Lost sight of what it was that started our journey in life together.
My husband is a real provider and such a hard worker. At the end of a long stressful week on work though, neither of us had the energy to put more hard work into our relationship.
This needed to change. I recognised this.
I can understand how people’s heads can be turned by a lustful glance, some attention and flattery. You get none of that really once the ring is on the finger.
I really don’t want to have to be chopping off his redundant bits with a rusty chainsaw so I arranged a date afternoon.
Just a couple of hours. Besides our weekly PT session it’s been over 12 months since we did something without the kids.
I feel like i spend 80% of my time angry with him over lots of things and nothing at all and then indifferent the other 20%.
Life had thrown us some pretty big curve balls since we said I do at the beautiful St George’s Chapel in Paphos, Cyprus, in 2014.
We had clung to each other through miscarriage, secondary infertility, the turbulence of my business buy-out, the babies health concerns and the usual marriage stresses that most couples go through and it was starting to wear on us.
We only went into town for lunch but it was just the ticket. A prescription for our diagnosis of daily doldrums and drudgery.
We held hands. It felt completely mongy at first. A bit ridiculous. As the minutes passed though, it became warm and reassuring.
We spent an extraordinary amount of time in Poundland. Far too much for a couple on their first date in a year.
He clearly got excited over the availability of £1 tempered glass phone screens that I didn’t have the heart to drag him out. It was the most excited i’d seen him in some time.
We may have been on a date but that doesn’t stop the loo roll running out.
We grabbed a nice lunch and a couple of drinks. We laughed and talked about the future.
We decided that corndogs were amazing. How can a deep fried sausage not be amazing?
I looked into his eyes, eyes that were a little more lined and tired than the ones I looked into for the first time ten years ago and I saw him again.
I asked him if he still loves me two years into our marriage.
Phew…that would have made dessert awkward.
I reconnected with him again and felt that for all life is a massive arse at times, throwing the occasional pungent fart your way, we have both decided to be boils on the same cheek weathering the eggy storm together.