Three Types of Soft Play Parent

What would we do without soft play centres?

Yes we know that ideally we should have our beasties out in the sunshine but soft play really is the parenting safety net.

When half term holidays are drawing to a close and you will actually cry if another toy is dragged out of the toy box, you know you can always take them to one of these and deflect their destructive impulses.

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You can guarantee that no matter where in the country you are, you will spot one of the following.

Helicopter Mum.

Whilst helicopter mum has resorted to her soft play visit out of desperation, she isn’t fully ready to accept the experience. She follows her child around the entire play frame the whole time, slides and all and good for her.

SP centres are dangerous places.

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DGAF Mum

These are the mums that are there purely for the coffee and respite and literally DGAF if their child exits the play centre for an hour so long as she gets to finish a hot latte and a sentence.

If 8 year old little Bethany is headbutting toddlers in the baby area then this is the helicopter mum’s problem.

Do not disturb……unless it’s with a panini and a copy of Reveal.

Reluctant Responsible Dad.

Mum has booked herself a long overdue morning of me time and this chap is WHOLLY responsible for his brood for a FULL THREE HOURS!!!!

Naturally the local SP is the obvious choice and bizarrely the lone dad seems to manage avoiding the constant two minute mithering that a mum gets in there.

He even managed to read the entire daily mail app on his phone during his visit.

I saw one last week sat there kicking back eating chips and reading Game Of Thrones.

Desperately surviving until his watch ends.

Don’t worry Dad…..

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JD xx

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6 Comments
  • Mouse, Moo and Me Too
    Posted at 22:29h, 06 June Reply

    This is hilarious! I wish I was DGAF but am actually a very reluctant helicopter mum. God I hate soft play.

    • Jodie Danner
      Jodie Danner
      Posted at 22:32h, 06 June Reply

      Same! They are the most dangerous places in the world….what part of ITS THE BABY AREA do the 12 stone 8 year olds not understand?!?!? X

      • Mouse, Moo and Me Too
        Posted at 22:50h, 06 June Reply

        Yes!!!!! Why do 8 year olds even want to play on the cylinder foam things shaped like farm animals anyway! And they’re always so loud…

  • Agent Spitback
    Posted at 13:00h, 09 June Reply

    Hahaha…funny! I am actually quite scared of these places. The yelling and screaming, yes, that is mine at my kids, is just too much for me. So what does that make me? Noisy helicopter? Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink

    • Jodie Danner
      Jodie Danner
      Posted at 13:17h, 09 June Reply

      I know what you mean! I’m ‘go and play! I haven’t spent £4.50 for you to sit with me!’ Ha ha! Thanks for reading xx

  • Gaz
    Posted at 08:29h, 26 July Reply

    You didn’t mention the Reluctant Responsible Dad’s post SP stories … how they “babysat” their (own*) offspring “all day” to give Mum some “time off”.

    We dont always choose the SP … sometimes, when SP seems too stressfull for our “babysitting” chore … we take mini-me to our Mum’s house cos we will get pampered then concurrently with treating little’un to an energy-extraction session with grandparents.

    We truly are legendary … no task too big

    You may thank us later ………..

    * I never did figure how one can “babysit” their own child hahaha

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