21 Aug Girls, Listen Up….
Ok my darling daughters.
Should you find yourselves without me there for guidance when you leave school (I could have had an unfortunate bowel exploding incident due to bran flake & coffee overdose or finally have been sectioned due to obsessive Google medical researching…) there are a few pointers I’d like you to take on board.
1) Pick a vocational degree.
Don’t do what I did and just pick a subject you like and are good at with no idea how it could figure into your future. Not unless you want to get to your mid thirties and still be paying off a student loan that paid for a two year hangover and return tickets to Wigan.
2) Start your driving lessons on the day that you can.
Just book ten. Pay with Dad’s card and book your test date. Gain your wings early. It’ll open up your world.
3) Get a part time job while you study.
It will feel good to earn but also teach you how tough it is to do a hard days work. Use this to fuel your passion to succeed at your studies so that you work in a job you love, despite the hard days.
4) If you insist on having a boyfriend before you’re 38, pick a nice boy.
Sounds easy but it isn’t.
Don’t rule out the quiet ones, the awkward ones, the studious ones.
They may lack the instant appeal of the cool ones (I’m aware I’m sounding horribly cringey right now) but these are all characteristics you will seek out later in life when you tire of the bravado and bullshit.
If you do have break ups, just know that that dull ache will ease and time will dry those seemingly endless tears.
Do tell Dad if they are in the wrong as I promise that he will be under strict instructions to rip their f&@king face off.
(Don’t you do it. Always conduct yourselves as ladies)
5) Always double bag your wine at Asda as their carrier bags have the durability of their smart price loo roll.
6) Be there for each other.
It’s ok for you and your sister to be different. It’s ok to go your own ways in life. Just know that we are all bound by that invisible thread that may not always be obvious but can be felt when you give it a little pull.
You have both had years of giggles and adventures that you may not even remember but just know that I saw that look of adoration over and over when you were my littlies and there is no other bond quite like it.
7) Look back at old photos.
Time flies, people change but memories last a lifetime.
Look at the pictures. Look how I saw you. Looking through the viewfinder, bursting with pride. Eager to bore my Facebook friends with more pictures of my two most beautiful creations.
Look at the pictures.
Look at the room behind you. This was our safe haven.
The only home you have known.
That’s my coffee cup in the background. With a half drunk cold brew in it no doubt.
I’d become distracted by your interactions and decided that coffee will wait while I capture these moments.
8) Be good people.
Not perfect. Good will do.
Be kind. Smile at strangers (but don’t talk to them for the love of God!).
Be a good friend. Reply to texts. Keep to plans.
9) DO NOT be a pushover.
Girls, find a balance between being agreeable and unf&@kwithable.
10) Do what makes you happy and keep doing it **
**Unless that is hard drugs, bad boys or dangerous sports.
11) Be fearless
Don’t fear the bad in the world like I did, to the point of it stopping you living your lives.
See through your brilliant ideas to fruition, knowing that you can do any bloody little thing you both put your minds to.
Fear is good if it spurs you on to take the challenge and smash it.
Ok I’m waffling.
12) Eat clean, drink in moderation, exercise lots, stick to the speed limit.
Love you forever.