29 Sep To the Arse that Set Out To Ruin My Day…
Here I go again – the queen of the retrospective rant.
Sometimes conflict catches you on the hop though and it is only when you have had time to take stock that you can get clarity.
So yes, you! A few weeks back, I had the (dis)pleasure of serving you in my little job.
You had the air immediately of someone that had a plan to complain no matter how slick your experience, how polite your service and how delightful your experience was.
Your disposition was that I was merely your serving-wench, non-deserving of the manners of a gentleman nor the consideration of a human being.
Little did you realise that I LIVE to please people – including little men like you.
Customer service had always been my strong point because it mattered to me that you would leave the establishment feeling happy and looked after.
Even if mistakes are made they will always be remedied with a smile and an assurance from me that IT MATTERS.
One mistake made due to a miscommunication on your behalf and I was scolded. Called out in front of others as being useless and told in a condescending way:
“Oh dear, we aren’t having a good day are we?”
For the first time in many years in my adult life, tears pricked my eyelids and a lump formed in my throat.
I felt belittled, stupid, incapable, incompetent and everything in between.
The exasperated sighs were like a ruler to my knuckles and I felt powerless and worthless. Like i had let down the proprietors too, which I would never ever do intentionally.
To you, this behaviour was very probably commonplace. I noticed that your companions were unflinching, perhaps accustomed to your Alf Garnett manner and past being embarrassed.
Worse still you advised my boss to get rid of me as it was clear that I ‘didn’t care’.
That is where the tears stopped to prick and the lump turned to venom as in life you can call me what you will.
Sensitive, neurotic, an attention-seeking blogging harpy (Thanks to my brother for that gem) but anyone that knows me knows that I CARE.
So Alf, I hope that when you went home, you may have felt a tinge of regret later and wondered for a second how your actions made that ‘silly girl’ feel.
I have overcome unimaginable things this past year that your words shouldn’t even penetrate my should-be thick skin. I cared about my children, I cared about their future. The only thing I didn’t really care for was myself.
When you insinuated that I am useless, I remind myself that this time last year, I was a double award winning business woman, with staff of my own that I only ever made feel valued. I cared about them & I cared about my customers.
I also cared enough to give all that up to be with my baby.
I hope you have people around you that actually care about you because having an ugly personality can lead to a lonely autumn of your life. When you are a few years older and no longer able to leave the house to continue your tour of misery, will your companions care enough to visit or will they have had their fill of your barbed words?
Food for thought Alf.