tired mum

No Mum is an Island

Although it can feel like that at times.

I’ve just been spending some time with a dear friend of mine and it has really got me thinking of how as mums, we are our harshest critics.

Think about what we put ourselves through at times.

Being a mother is at times, one of the loneliest things in the world.

When your children arrive, your life takes a back seat.

You are now solely responsible for the happiness and well being of a new life and the world expects you to do so with a dazzling smile and a perfect hairdo.

Congratulations on the birth of your baby!

You have automatically been entered into ‘mum competition’!! You will be expected to now make your parenting decisions based on what is deemed as acceptable by other mums and your work will be judged by a panel of other mums.

There are no right answers but plenty of wrong ones.

Am I saying it’s wrong to judge?

No.

It’s human nature to judge others. Parenting is just one of those emotional subjects that everyone has their own stance on in terms of the best way to do things.

funny

Maybe as mums though we should try to understand other’s situation a little more too.

Give that frazzled mum a smile as she lugs her pram laden down with shopping bags through town.

Sometimes admitting to not being OK can be the best thing in your child’s interest.

It’s OK not to be OK.

It’s amazing that we all experience these times and yet we struggle to reach out to other mums for fear of being judges as ‘not coping’.

As alone as we may feel at 3am whilst trying to get our crying babies back to sleep there is a whole other network of other mums doing exactly the same be them rich or poor.

That time in the dead of the night can feel like the loneliest time of your life and I have to admit, I have rocked my baby in my bedroom window, tears rolling down my face, wondering how much time I would get for suffocating my husband, the resentment of his sound sleeping all too much. When I realised i’d miss the new series of The Fall, I took my knee off his windpipe with a sigh.

It’s a pity we couldn’t invent our own howl (One that sleeping babies can’t hear obvs) like the dogs all had in 101 Dalmations so that mums all over the country can feel connected in the still of the night.

It is in that hour that we as women are all stripped back to our primal beings.

We are not fancy prams, expensive cots, wraps, bottles, breasts or pristine nurseries.

We are mother.

They are child.

We are all equal members of the greatest club in the world.

supermum

JD xx

 

Diary of an imperfect mum
This Mum's Life

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8 Comments
  • Tantrum XYZ
    Posted at 12:59h, 26 September Reply

    “No mum is an island” we love that!

  • The Tale of Mummyhood
    Posted at 13:54h, 26 September Reply

    Very well said!

    #bigpinklink

  • Claire
    Posted at 16:15h, 26 September Reply

    So true. The longer i’m a mum the more I realise i’m not alone, but those first 6 months with my first were a very lonely time xx #bigpinklink

  • Becky Hemsley (And Then There Were Two)
    Posted at 20:06h, 27 September Reply

    Ooh I love this! I too have sat on the bed sobbing at 3am as I try to get my baby back to sleep. I think we all have. It is the hardest job in the world but you’re right – the greatest club. I wouldn’t give up my place in this club for anything (although, at that point of baby sobbing at 3am I may have considered it!) I’m sharing this 🙂 #bigpinklink

  • This Mum's Life
    Posted at 16:53h, 28 September Reply

    Aww, this is lovely! I love the idea of the howl that all mothers can hear in the middle of the night, just so we don’t feel so alone. Like you, I also had some of my darkest moments in the middle of the night-it’s absolutely the loneliest of times. I, like others, totally judged other mums before I had children of my own. I still make rash judgments now, but often with sympathy, and nothing like the way I used to. I saw a new looking mum with her buggy today, who stood to one side to let me by. I smiled and said thank you, but she didn’t meet my eye, and looked totally miserable. In my old life, I would’ve muttered ‘miserable cow’ under my breath, but I looked at her and felt sorry for her. She may be really unhappy in a ‘what the hell just happened to my life’ way. She could’ve been up all night, she could have PND. I am definitely the most empathetic and sympathetic I’ve ever been in my life!
    #bigpinklink

  • Catie (AN imperfect Mum)
    Posted at 10:14h, 06 October Reply

    I really love the idea of us being stripped back to primal beings. It is a shame that some women are not more supportive of others. You can;t judge anyone unless you’ve walked a day in their shoes, we all have our own stuff going on don;t we! Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉

  • The Unsung Mum
    Posted at 13:55h, 06 October Reply

    so true, and why is asking for help so hard!! I never find the right words to ask for help when I need it as I’m scared that I’ll be deemed a bad mum. Society as a whole needs to really look at itself and how it treats us mums. #ablogginggoodtime

  • Grounded Mummy
    Posted at 20:47h, 07 October Reply

    3am has to be the worst time of the night, it’s so dark and quiet, and totally exhausting. I really wish we all did have a howl only mums could hear, I’d be on that blower every night. Loved this. #ablogginggoodtime

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