26 Sep No Mum is an Island
Although it can feel like that at times.
I’ve just been spending some time with a dear friend of mine and it has really got me thinking of how as mums, we are our harshest critics.
Think about what we put ourselves through at times.
Being a mother is at times, one of the loneliest things in the world.
When your children arrive, your life takes a back seat.
You are now solely responsible for the happiness and well being of a new life and the world expects you to do so with a dazzling smile and a perfect hairdo.
Congratulations on the birth of your baby!
You have automatically been entered into ‘mum competition’!! You will be expected to now make your parenting decisions based on what is deemed as acceptable by other mums and your work will be judged by a panel of other mums.
There are no right answers but plenty of wrong ones.
Am I saying it’s wrong to judge?
It’s human nature to judge others. Parenting is just one of those emotional subjects that everyone has their own stance on in terms of the best way to do things.
Maybe as mums though we should try to understand other’s situation a little more too.
Give that frazzled mum a smile as she lugs her pram laden down with shopping bags through town.
Sometimes admitting to not being OK can be the best thing in your child’s interest.
It’s OK not to be OK.
It’s amazing that we all experience these times and yet we struggle to reach out to other mums for fear of being judges as ‘not coping’.
As alone as we may feel at 3am whilst trying to get our crying babies back to sleep there is a whole other network of other mums doing exactly the same be them rich or poor.
That time in the dead of the night can feel like the loneliest time of your life and I have to admit, I have rocked my baby in my bedroom window, tears rolling down my face, wondering how much time I would get for suffocating my husband, the resentment of his sound sleeping all too much. When I realised i’d miss the new series of The Fall, I took my knee off his windpipe with a sigh.
It’s a pity we couldn’t invent our own howl (One that sleeping babies can’t hear obvs) like the dogs all had in 101 Dalmations so that mums all over the country can feel connected in the still of the night.
It is in that hour that we as women are all stripped back to our primal beings.
We are not fancy prams, expensive cots, wraps, bottles, breasts or pristine nurseries.
We are mother.
They are child.
We are all equal members of the greatest club in the world.