A Challenge Achieved & A Hereditary Case of the Wobbles

“Do you think that maybe you could tell Niamh to use a different word instead of ‘anxious’? She has been saying quite a bit to her friends that she feels anxious and in turn I think it may be making them wonder if they too are anxious? It’s a big emotion for 7 year olds…”

I just stood there, rather dumbfounded.

She was right in the middle of her SATS, using the correct word to describe how she was feeling in the correct context and I was being asked to help her to achieve an emotional dumbing down.

She was built just like me.

An over thinker, a worrier, a voluntary shoulder for all of the world’s problems.

She has already been referred to CAMHS over her anxiety and OCD tendencies so I was disappointed to be told that I should supress her honesty over the subject.

Telling her to not use a particular word would only result in her becoming compelled to use it.

Now more than ever I realise how important talking to others about your mental health is.

That being said there are times when I regret having been so honest about the reality of a breakdown.

There have been situations where I have felt that people’s opinions of me have been altered as a result of me holding up my hand and saying “I need a little help over here!”.

I feel a tremendous guilt that Niamh suffers like I do but all I can do is make sure that she gets the support that wasn’t available when I was her age.

I’ve been on the mend since my last episode, feeling better every day.

Still having the odd wobbly day but knowing that the next day will be better.

I got through my 10k on Sunday and felt elated.

I had built it up so much over the past few months and convinced myself I wouldn’t be able to do it but I did.

A group of us couldn’t face doing it in Manchester and opted to run the canal in Wigan.

It was a lovely event and we were delighted to raise lots for our chosen charities.

The results of my barium x-ray has shown up an esopheagal web or obstruction that will need a closer look at by endoscopy.

This has made me poo my pants big time.

I’ve looked up statistics of how many of these become cancerous and other associated health conditions and I have of course prepared myself for the worst case scenario.

I hope it’s a simple fix and then when that is out the way I will be able to start fresh.

This is the curse of having health anxiety.

You are only ever reassured at the particular moment you’re told you’re ok.

Then the cycle repeats……has that mole always been there? What is that headache? Why is my boob lumpy? Is it milk or a lump?

Holy shit, I’m a barrel of laughs aren’t I?

To top it all off I have had a really bad haircut.

Bad in the sense that it looks harsh and I am so self conscious of it!

I have lost my mojo big time

I found out the hard way that I don’t have the face for a retro fringe blunt bob any longer. I’m too mumsy.

So far It has been likened to a Stormtrooper and a German helmet.

Kill me now.

 

JD xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

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19 Comments
  • Kate Marsden
    Posted at 11:46h, 31 May Reply

    Great article…and I love your hair…x x

  • Jayne Donoghue
    Posted at 11:52h, 31 May Reply

    I love you and your blog xxx

  • Michelle Banks
    Posted at 11:58h, 31 May Reply

    I love your hair be confident having some thing different I have just had mine cut mega short undercut all round I love it and don’t give a s**t wat anyone else thinks my anxietys haven’t bn great at the moment due to Manchester but day by day I go for it ๐Ÿ’•

    • Jodie Danner
      Posted at 12:01h, 31 May Reply

      Oooh really Michelle? An undercut is brave! I think everyone is on edge since the bomb especially seeing bomb disposal units in the neighbourhood! X

  • Victoria Anne Moran
    Posted at 12:21h, 31 May Reply

    I’m so sorry to read your daughter is being encourage to suppress her internal experiences! I have tons of stuff of externalising and changing narratives if you’d like anything just message. X

  • Jimmy Wallace
    Posted at 13:19h, 31 May Reply

    Ginger german xxxxxxxx

  • Rachel Murray
    Posted at 14:00h, 31 May Reply

    I hate that her school are saying that, it’s not right and it’s not what we do as a school establishment I would be interested in knowing the position of the person whose said that. P.s. I feckin love your bob, I’m sick to death of my tatty, knotty long longs I’m tempted to get them all chopped off. I’ll never be one of those people who can master a blow dry or even a neat bun ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™ˆ

    • Jodie Danner
      Posted at 16:54h, 31 May Reply

      It didn’t feel right Rachel, I came away feeling uncomfortable about it. I felt sad for Niamh. Thank you! Considering I now only have an inch of hair, why does it still take an hour to dry?!?! ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜ซ cxx

  • Joan Danner
    Posted at 14:41h, 31 May Reply

    Over the last two years you have had to deal with some major worries of which family and friends are aware. You are far stronger than you realise. Also, your new hairstyle suits you really well and that teacher needs some retraining! Xxx

    • Jodie Danner
      Posted at 16:54h, 31 May Reply

      Thanks Joan ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜ xxx

  • Jimmy Wallace
    Posted at 14:57h, 31 May Reply

    Nice one rachel x

  • Jemmah Louise Wright
    Posted at 20:18h, 31 May Reply

    It’s really upsetting that the school are trying to brush real emotions under the carpet especially when children do feel like this. What they should be more focused on is not what words she is using but why she is using them and providing support! After living with Mike and his condition I think that if children were made more aware different conditions and made aware of any help. I always try to have an open door at home and school so that every child has somewhere to go and someone to talk to! Rant over ๐Ÿ˜‚ p.s your hair looks fantastic i want mine doing xxxx

    • Jodie Danner
      Posted at 20:27h, 31 May Reply

      I honestly just don’t think that they know how to handle things like this so to silence her might seem easier. I’ve reached out a few times to discuss her anxiety with them and there isn’t much in place to help kids like her. I agree with you Jemma, I think when kids stop talking about their fears that’s when they withdraw xxxxx

  • Jane Cubbin
    Posted at 21:01h, 31 May Reply

    Omg sending loads of hugs and lots of love xxx it is so Important for children to talk and express their feelings freely without judgement and to be listened to and understood. Well done to you and your gorgeous girlie for being able to do that and for you as a fab mum to listen to her and support her through xxxx

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