5 Things No One Tells You When You Become a Mum

Nothing can prepare you for Motherhood. Not really.

Here are a few things I’d have liked to have been made aware of first so I’m passing on this valuable info.

1) It hurts.
Ok yes this is no secret as such but the subject of pain is always counterbalanced with how miraculous the whole experience is and how you forget the pain over time. Not if you’re stitched from front bum to back bum. Thongs will never ever be your friend, it will swell up from time to time and will always look like a drunk’s attempt at cross-stitch.

2) That rush of love isn’t always instant.
This really bothered me first time round. I had been told that there is no feeling like that of being passed your baby for the first time and that you become intoxicated with love in an oxytocin delirium. Not true.
After 36 hours in labour, a dodgy epidural, failed ventouse attempt and eventually a forceps and episiotomy delivery my relief was indescribable from it all being over.
My rush of love was more of a gradual drip feed over the next few days when it started to counter balance the whole labour experience and you know what? That’s ok too.

3) Your relationship with your partner changes forever.
Yep. It’s never the same…it evolves. You now have a little person that you would die for and that you would happily let your partner die if it was a choice between the two. Rare date nights will be spent talking about your child.
Your body is no longer theirs. Your days will be spent being pawed, smacked, dribbled on, puked on and cuddled and by bedtime you will happily snap off the hands of anyone else that wants bodily contact.

4) Your body changes. Forever.

Not always in a bad way too. Sometimes you get back to your pre-baby weight but things move differently. The skin on your tummy will always be crepey, you kind of get a permanent ‘tired face’ that people mistake for illness and your boobs will always resemble socks on a washing line. Left out all night. In the rain. After being beaten with a meat cleaver.

Last but not least.

5) Your heart swells to 800 x the size and never goes back.

Reading about neglect and abuse stings you in a way that it never did before. Stories in the news make you catch your breath and you physically hurt, relating everything to your precious little one.
They tell you about a girl in class that is being mean to them and you want to eliminate them despite knowing deep down that it’s just a kid thing and that giving a wedgie to a 6 year old might get you in trouble.

🙂 JD X

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