25 Jul All Aboard The 10pm Mum’s Guilt Trip!
Both kids are now asleep.
It’s that one small window of the day that should bring solitude and a blissful reflection.
Instead I like to opt for the mental beat me up right before bed time.
Join me on this tortuous head wrecker.
Here are mine:
1) I rollocked Niamh right before bedtime and she cried those breath-catching sobs. She was playing with her sister and lifted her from behind only for her to face plant with a sickening thud.
I was furious.
2) It was made worse by the face that baby had also face planted off the couch only a few days earlier whilst I was on my phone.
ALL DAY I hover like the worse kind of helicopter mum but the one minute I lose focus……
3) I fed Esmé a happy meal this week. To be fair, I did get unsalted chips and water. Practically a salad.
She ate the lot.
Like most mum’s I was adamant she would only eat a balanced organic diet but when I found a clump of the dogs hair in her nappy I figured the occasional Maccies wouldn’t hurt.
4) I was caught off guard when Niamh asked me if two gay friends I have were brothers.
“Just best friends?”
“Yep, the very best.”
I later sat her down to explain and she was so non-plussed that I wish I’d have just come out and said it at the time.
I felt guilty that I hadn’t known how to word it.
When I did tell her that now it’s brilliant times because anyone can marry anyone because you don’t always fall in love with the opposite sex, she said it’s fantastic and that she plans to marry Erin so that they can be BFF’s forever.
I love that this generation isn’t going to give a hoot and will be far more accepting and tolerant.
5) It’s time that is eating me up the most. Summer holidays are the ultimate guilt trip for parents.
They are just a 6 week long juggling act for us, frantically keeping those plates spinning. Scraping together babysitting schedules and begging for a couple of days holiday so that you can spend a small bit of time with them before they’re back at school.
They put a spotlight on how much you are actually away from your children, how much you are just not present for.
I’m writing this from Niamh’s bed where I’ve managed to squeeze in for a cuddle while she’s sleeping.
I’m sorry I shouted at her.
I’m also sorry that I’m on my phone mid cuddle and that I never did get around to swapping all of this Peppa Pig decor in her room from her being a baby.
I’m also sorry I can’t transfer this guilt to my housework.
I’m remarkably easy on myself when it comes to that.